it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
