WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Everyone says I win the strip club
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
