it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
