She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
