i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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