You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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