please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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