All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So apparently I’m into choking now
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