we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
