Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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