clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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