TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
