Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
