Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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