Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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