I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
