my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
