My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Dignity is for republicans.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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