It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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