I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
