We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize