rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
