You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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