Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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