i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
