Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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