It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
