yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
