You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
