Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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