can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
