I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
