Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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