my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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