What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize