Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Randomize
