Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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