Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
