no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
