Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
