guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
