Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
he high fived his dick after we had sex
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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