Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
