shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
