i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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