you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
