I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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