In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
