Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
