I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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