Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize
