You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I will pee on everything he values.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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