Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
