North Korea, Best Korea!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Randomize
