We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
