But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
