i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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