she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
What a dumb baby whore.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
