so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
