she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
