dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
honey bunches of taint.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
