hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize