Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
