i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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