hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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