I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
