I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We smell like vodka and hangover
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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