I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
