I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
